You can't outrun yourself by achieving harder...

Let's just jump right in, shall we? 😂

There's one "thing" that's quietly on a pedestal for most of us. The promotion. The wedding. The baby.

The proof.

We tell ourselves the version of us on the other side of it will finally be the one we've been waiting to become. The kind of woman who doesn't have to keep proving anything because she's arrived.

So...what's yours? 👀 What's the achievement you've been waiting on to become someone different? I bet you can name it...

The thing you've been chasing for years or the milestone you're convinced will fix the "thing" underneath. Or maybe it's the achievement you're treating like a finish line. Because if you stopped to ask what's actually waiting on the other side, you might have to face the woman who gets there ... & find that she's still carrying everything she was before. (*cue the mic drop* 🎤)

I had my "pedestal" moment...

I gave a TEDx talk a few months ago in New York. I told myself (and was CONVINCED) that my life was magically going to change once I became the version of myself on the other side of that stage.

And to no ones surprise: it didn't change SHIT.

I delivered the talk & I'm proud of myself for "doing the thing". My village showed up: ten women and my husband piled in cars and drove in to be there. I remember the closing speaker, Carrie, talked about audacity... about how leaders aren't made when they're ready but when they have the courage to show up anyway.

And then I came home to a body that'd been running on chronic stress & insomnia, a dysregulated nervous system, and a brand new ADHD diagnosis I'm still figuring out how to live with. Oh, and I was also newly unemployed.

Everything was still right there, waiting for me when I got home.

Here's what I learned, and what I want you to hear:

You can't outrun yourself by achieving harder.

The thing you're chasing? It isn't going to magically fix what is actually going on inside of you. It can't... and it was never built to. The longer you treat it like it will, the longer you delay the inevitable — which is so much smaller, quieter, and less applauded than the thing on the pedestal.

So what does coming home to yourself actually look like?

It looks like the conversation you keep avoiding. The text you're scared to send. The "no" you've been swallowing for months because saying it out loud feels too risky. The way you keep overriding your body when it tells you it's tired.

The pattern you can name but haven't interrupted.

It looks like noticing that maybe your whole personality is made up of old programming and trauma responses and deciding to do something about it anyway.

In the beginning of the year, I made a pact with myself:

Do one thing every day that you've been avoiding. One thing, every damn day. Because waiting for the next external achievement to make me feel like enough was costing me my actual life.

I'd offer you the same pact, but the only person who can make it is you.

💬 What's the one thing you've been avoiding? The one your gut just answered before your brain could talk you out of it? That. Start there.

The shift you're waiting for isn't on a stage, a milestone, or the next big thing. It's in your kitchen at 7am, when you finally say "no" during the conversation you finally decide to have.

It's when you finally stop overriding the part of you that's been trying to get your attention for years.

It's available to you right now.

Not after the next thing, not when you're "ready," & not when life calms down.

Right now.